Burdens

Life is full of burdens, everyday ones, big ones, little ones.. some we don't even see as burdens and yet they are.. 

We as humans have a tendency to shoulder our burdens and move on. Afte rall God would never give us more than we can handle, right? (btw, Hate that expression) I think by stating that we are making a mockery of some of what God has done for us. 

The very nature of Christianity is to lift your burdens to God and let Him help us carry it. To share the weight, so to speak. 

Psalm 55:22
Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved .

If this is the case, why do we constantly try to carry our burdens alone. A shared burden is an easy burden.. and when we have God Himself to share our burdens with, why would we even want to carry them alone? 

Sheesh, we (and by we, I mean me) aren't too bright are we? 

I have this tendency to carry the weight of the world.. not only being accountable for my mistakes, sins, flaws.. but others as well. So double whammy on me. It isn't always pride that keeps me from asking God for help, in fact it rarely is. Most of the time it's shame.. Why did I let this burden get so heavy? How can I ask God to help me now, when I don't go to him when the burdens were small and manageable? What kind of Child of Christ am I...

So of course I allow the burdens to get heavier and heavier.. until finally I collapse. This time, my collapse was colossal and I am a wreck, physically, spiritually, mentally.. you name it.. total and complete collapse. Is this what it takes for me to turn to God? 

Scary isn't it that even now, I tend to "take care" of things.. and not lean on the one Being that could ease my burden. Not take it away.. no, this is the path I am on, but ease the burden so I won't be so weary on my journey.. 

I have so much still to learn

Shauni

Be Strong?

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

So this is supposed to be my blog about my faith and what is going on in my spiritual life. The thing is because it can be so deeply personal, I often ignore this blog. .. There is also the fact that I tend to act like I have a clue.. and face it, I wrote the book on cluelessness.. Or at least one of them. 

I often feel like a pretender on this blog. Like I am acting like I have this great relationship with God and yet it totally sucks. Mostly because I doubt. I doubt everything.. and I get so envious of those who seem to be able to stand up for their faith. To say this is who I am.. I am who I am because I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. 

It's hard to explain my ability to compartmentalize. Sometimes that has served me well in life... but it is a double edge sword because I can compartmentalize my faith. Keep it hidden, keep it safe.. Protect it. And yet by doing that I diminish it. The flame grows ever weaker.. the promise ever farther away..

Faith, like love, grows in power when we share it. I believe.. and I will BELIEVE more if I share my belief with others. Does that make sense? Faith is not a crutch, although many still insist that it is. It is hard to live a Christ Like life.. incredibly hard. Christ was perfect.. do we understand what that means?? It means he didn't make a single solitary mistake.. EVER.. he didn't lie to the bill collector.. he didn't manipulate his friends. He always stood accountable for his actions.. Shoot, he stood accountable for ours. And yet, society insists on saying Christianity is a crutch.. Lumping Christianity in with all the coo coo religions out there (and yes I differentiate, Christianity is NOT a religion)

Today there is no rhyme nor reason.. nor overall theme to my post. Just my rambling thoughts. I want to just believe.. I want to ease my doubts.. I want, I want.. maybe a little less I want and a little more God Wants in my life would do me some good.. 

Shauni

Live Like You Were Living..

This morning I was on Facebook and saw a post where one of my friend's hosues was Tp'd. That got me thinking about another friend, Diane. My partner in crime for those wonderful middle school years. 

Diane died of breast cancer a few years ago (or so I have been told, I seriously hope I am not passing out misinformation). Today's Tping post made me think.. Of Diane but it also made me think of the friends and family who have left us. Then I got to seriously thinking..

One of the things that always makes me guilty is this desire to not die...yet. I think about going home to Jesus and that is absolutely awesome.. but in a way it's still in concept form. I understand it, in theory but I haven't lived it yet. On the other hand I have lived life here on earth. 

I want to see my children grow, get married, have families.. you know have that long, rich and fulfilled life. But should I want that? Shouldn't I want to go home to Jesus? 

Of course that is a tricky one.. I mean we are supposed to rejoice in what we have.. give thanks for our day to day life. That means we can enjoy what we have here on earth. Honestly, if we were supposed to only live to die.. then what good would we be? 

Anyway.. as I was pondering all of this I found this verse..

Philippians 1:23-24 I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account.

Funny how God does that. Seriously, I don't ever remember this verse.. and today when I am questioning things it just pops up? Hmmmm. 

I guess the goal in life is not to Live Like You Were Dying but rather to Live Like You Were Living.. A Rich, Full, Complete life in Jesus and when it's time. When Jesus calls us home, we can finally discover the wonder that is heaven.

Shauni

I Woke Up Today

I have this long standing saying.. Whenever I am having an especially bad day and want to remain positive.. When someone asks me how's your day going? Or how are you today? I respond with "I woke up today, so I am ahead of the game"

Honestly, I am not trying to be funny, rude or snarky. I am stating my honest opinion. Sure today is not going so well but God granted me one more day where I woke up.. So, it is in fact going rather well. 

My mom is even funnier cuz she will say, "well I woke up and checked for toe tags and didn't find one, so all is well". yes I come by it honestly. 

The thing is whenever I say this I get a smile.. it seems to make everyone give one of those startled half laughs.. and give you a huh, never thought of that look. 

The thing I try to remember, especially on those especially dark days.. is 

Psalm 118:24  

 This is the day which the LORD hath made ; we will rejoice and be in it! 

(Admit it, you started singing didn't you). It was made into a song for a reason! Yet another way to rejoice in the day God has given you!!

Shauni

Rainy Sunday

There is just something so very awesome about rain.. There is a gentle rain, a farmers rain, a spring rain, a summer rain.. etc.. But one of my favorites is when the thunder rolls and lightening dances across the sky. Showing us God's amazing power.. 

Sometimes I want to just run out in it and rejoice (although I do usually reserve that for when it's not thundering and lightening)

Today is one of those days.. The rain is pounding, the thunder is rolling and the lightening is dancing it's way across the heavens.. what a party must be going on!! 

I just thought I would rejoice in the rain.. nothing deep or dark to say.. Just rejoice on this Rainy Sunday

Isaiah 55:10 ESV 

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,

Yet another reason to rejoice the rain!!

Shauni

Foregiveness is an Amazing Thing

When was the last time you forgave someone? I mean seriously forgave them?.. How often does someone say I am sorry and you respond with that's ok.. It's not ok, that person did something that hurt you, something wrong, something that required forgiveness and by not acknowledging it, you are not doing your part of the job. 

Ephesians 4:31-32 

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you

Where would we be if God had said, hey no biggee..Where would we be had not God shown us the true power of forgiveness? What would our lives be like? Where would the hope be? We would be plunged in eternal darkness. First in our bleak existence then in our afterlife. Who would even want an afterlife? Ok, megalomaniacs and dictators.. but who among us wants to live in a dark world with no forgiveness? I know I don't.. 

I know I would be so lost if God did not daily, minutely, constantly offer me forgiveness. I would be a wreck of a human being. I am already enough of a mess with the knowledge of God's love and forgiveness.. without it.. yeah not a pretty site. 

So my thought today is.. God forgave us, we learn to forgive others, sometimes we aren't so good at it but we try. At least I do. When was the last time you forgave yourself? When did you let yourself know that God's forgiveness means that you no longer have to punish yourself? I have trouble with this one. I have trouble letting go. I am a grudge holder. I punish myself over and over again. Of course I hold grudges against other people too.. you know that kid who in the 4th grade made my kid cry? Yeah, he's toast.. seriously. 

And that is not how we should live our lives. We have been forgiven, washed white as snow. Now we need to pass that forgiveness on. To ourselves, to our friends, to our families to those we may never see again. Let it go.. Allow the light to shine into your darkness and disperse it.

Shauni

** Yeah I know, so much easier said than done!

Looking for A Good Social Group? Attend Church!

So, in theory, we are or used to be a Christian Society. Long before we stopped being a Christian Society, we stopped being a society that went to church. We became a society that was formed on Judeo/Christian beliefs. And the reason we stopped being a Christian Society? Well we stopped going to church. 

I know when my life is in shambles (like it is right now) one of the reasons is because I don't have a connection with God. Oh sure, you can worship God anywhere, and I do. But peer pressure isn't always a bad thing. 

Matthew 18:20

For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

Find yourself a church, take your time go to a few, check out denominations you aren't sure of. I joined the Catholic church in our area because, well my husband was Catholic and was only comfortable there, but mostly because when I walked into that church, it was the only place with people there to greet me. That wanted to get to know me, that offered me a chance to become involved.. In short it was a community I could get into. 

When my ex decided that he would rather spend the rest of his life with a bottle, rather than his wife and four kids.. It was that very same Catholic Church, that helped me get my first apartment, that put food on the table at Thanksgiving and Christmas, that made sure my kids had presents (and there were some pretty awesome presents in there). 

I stayed with that church while my kids were growing up, I didn't want to add more change to their lives. But when the time came I found another denomination that suited me best and my youngest came with me. The rest, are still Catholic. 

The thing is, church is so much more than weekly worship service. It's a place to gather with people who share your faith. A true place to find friends.. a friend to go to the movies with, a friend to meet for lunch, a friend to share your struggles with or better yet a friend where you can share theirs. And the people that go to church? Well they are doctors and lawyers and plumbers and students and housewives and... yeah you get the picture. There is a wide variety of people to get to know. 

Most of the people you meet in church will encourage your faith. You won't have that awkward moment of silence when you bring God into the conversation. He is already there, part of the party. 

So we go to church to commune with God, learn lessons about our faith and God rewards us with people to share our lives with.. win/win! 

Shauni