Saturday, August 17, 2013
And God Said Write
My life hasn't always been easy, in fact it has been down right difficult. But most of that is on me. Honestly, some of the choices I have made have been down right pathetic. And yet for the most part I don't regret those choices because they brought me here.. to this point right now. A place where I am finally listening..
Years ago, when my marriage was at it's worst. When It was all but over. I remember being down in the basement sobbing.. I literally slid down the washer to sit on the floor. I was crying out to God.. why my.. blah blah blah.. what can I do to change this and in response.. God said "WRITE".. Later when I would go to church and sit in the sanctuary, before service and spend some quiet time to myself.. preparing myself for service I would ask God what He wanted of me and I would hear a voice.. yep you guessed it God said "WRITE". When the pastor would be giving his sermon, I would hear it with two parts of my brain, one the lesson being taught and one the words I could write from it.. yep God was still speaking to me. When my life was at what I thought was it's lowest... when I contemplated suicide.. I begged God for an outlet and God said.. you guessed it "WRITE"
There was not vagueness about this. I honestly swear I heard the voice of God telling me to write.. So what did I do? Well, I didn't write anything that's for sure. That would have made sense. I was like the man in the old joke.. There was a flood and he was sitting on his rooftop.. a man in a rowboat came by and asked if he needed help.. the man said "no, God will save me".. Later another man came by this time in a power boat and asked if he needed help and the man replied "no, God will save me". Finally a man came by in a helicopter and asked if he needed help and once again the man said.."no, God will save me". Needless to say he died, when he went to heaven he spoke with God.. He said "I had faith I believed in you and yet you didn't save me, why not?" And God said "I sent you a row boat, a power boat and a helicopter what more did you want?" That my friends was me..
God has given me the talent to be fulfilled. To serve Him by sharing His gift. I have always known that I have a skill for writing. There are always stories bouncing around in my head. My world is a truly unique place.. of course reality always manages to come crashing in.. but still.. why do those worlds remain in my head? Why do I refuse to sit still and let them escape? Who knows? Fear maybe? Laziness? Fear?.. lol.. yeah good old fear..
But my time has come.. God has said WRITE long enough.. the words dance on my tongue and demand to escape.. I may not be as talented as I thought but that doesn't matter.. God said WRITE and finally I am listening..